I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
