I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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