I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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