Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
