Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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