So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
