so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
