She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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