8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
