He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
