How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
