how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
