The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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