lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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