I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
