I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
