I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
