so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
