SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
