Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
