So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
