I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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