one might say we're banned from that church
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
