Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
