Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
