Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
