So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
