Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
