garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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