My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
