Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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