epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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