O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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