btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
