I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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