i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
