Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
