Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
