I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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