Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
