I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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