i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
