Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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