Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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