Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Come on in and take your pants off
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