dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
