On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
