I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
