I hate your face
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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