am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
