So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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