Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
